Coverage Report Feedback

After recieving the feedback from the coverage report: I decided to read back through my script and change parts and add more detail, by doing this I will then feel that my script is made more clearer and understandable to an audience or reader.

Script Table Read

After reading my script in a group, I then realised the mistakes that I made that need to be altered. I will have to alter it and add a small amount of dialogue on the end to make it up to 10 minutes as the ending is slightly gradual so to do this I would have to read it in detail to change the ending in order for me to improve it. However I have confidence that the story my script tells is original and clear. The way the story is told and they way I wrote it gives me confidence to be able to improve it. When reading this the audience was able to catch on to the story of what I was trying to put across. Although I need to add more detail to the ending:

where the triplets are sent to different foster parents from the care home after their mother leaving them and they end up meeting again at camp and plan to find their mum they eventually ended up finding their mum at their nan and gramps house because their mum told them she was going to live with them for a while in Spain till everything’s sorted.

I realised after the script table that it is too boring and didn't really make sense so I thought I would change it to the triplets still go to different foster parents and they meet again at a boarding school when taking part in a range of activities and as soon as half term comes they don't go home to their foster parents they visit their aunties house and asks her for help so they could find their mum again. Their auntie helps them and they find their mum at their Nan and gramps house in Spain. Whilst they are in Spain they persuade their mum to come home and explain how they found her and make her promise that she will never leave them again. They leave Spain and go home with their mum 2 days later and their mum rents a house for them to stay in until they find a house to buy again. After I have changed this I think I would have to incorporate some names for the mum as well.

Developed Idea

For my short film I have decided to base my idea as a drama film.

The genre: Drama (sad).

Setting: House
Incident: father dies
Genre: Drama (sad)
Plot: Father dies because of car crash, mother survives and moves away leaving triplets behind, triplets end up in care and separated to be with foster parents. They meet after 3 years at a holiday camp and then they make plans to find their mother.
My idea is there are 3 triplets girls aged 10 who live with there parents in a high class house. There parents go out for the evening in a car but when the girls realise they don’t come home they phone their family member and stay with them to find that later on that night they are told that their mum and dad was involved in a car crash due to a drunk driver. The next day the 3 girls visit the hospital with their aunt and are told that their dad has passed away because of serious injury’s however their mum has survived with bad bruising. After the crash their mum has not been coping so she moves abroad to live with her parents, leaving the 3 girls behind making them go into care as their auntie doesn’t have the time to look after them. It ends up with the 3 girls going into care and then getting split up with different foster families so they don’t see each other.

After 3 years the girls are 13 and being on there own for the last 3 years has been a struggle. The girls are sent to a camp not knowing all 3 of them are there but after 3 years they have changed a lot however they meet when doing an activity and all go to a private room. They make a plan to find their mother again once they have finished camp as they know she moved abroad. Once camp has finished they take route to find there mother after flying to where there Nan and gramp live (their mum’s parents) they manage to find the house. They explain to their mum how they have managed to make contact and how they found where she was. Their mother explains to them how she is not coping and that she has been having nightmares about the crash ever since, because of this their mum explains she cannot look after them with money costs and she will have to go back home to live with their foster parents but they will live together as sisters again. They end up being re-united with their mum again.

Idea's for a short film

Horror- Haunting, Paranormal Activity.

Sci-Fi- 2012, AI.

Sad (Dramas)-My sisters Keeper, You've got a little bit of heaven.


Idea 1

Setting: House

Incident: Ghost's protects her sister (twist)-Initially ghost is bad.

Genre: Horror, drama.

Setting: Family home becomes haunted.

Plot: 2 sisters- 1 is killed (poisoned).

Step mother? ---> The other sister’s journey.

Father!! --> Because sisters possessed.



The ghost is friendly and protects the family, but the sister turns evil and turns against her sister by attempting to murder her, but the friendly ghost saves the sister and it ends up that the sister is poisoned by their father.

Idea 2

Setting: house

Incident: father dies

Genre: Drama (sad)

Plot: Father dies because of car crash, mother survives and moves away leaving triplets behind, triplets end up in care and separated to be with foster parents. They meet after 3 years at a holiday camp and then they make plans to find their mother.

Idea 3

Genre: Action

Setting: pub

Incident: Bar fight

Plot: 2 men Jim and Tom start fighting because Jim has a girlfriend and Tom slept with Jim’s girlfriend.

Characters: Jim and Tom

Beginning: Quite atmosphere and Tom is having a quite pint by himself whilst Jim bursts into the pub and asks Tom if he can have a quite chat.

Middle: They start fighting because of what Tom did.

End: Tom ends up in hospital and Jim is pleased he has made Jim aware of what he did and wants him to stay away from his girlfriend.

Unit lowdown task 3

Copyright

¢Copyright is the ownership of work someone has done like documents and screenplays. Copyright owners have complete control over anyone copying their work. Fair use doesn’t require agreement from the copyright owners but all other things do require permission. Fair use means that if anyone wants to use or look at the copyright owners work they don’t have to have the say-so from the owner but by law they are only allowed to use it under the limited time and rules.

¢There is also time-bound which means  some programmes are not aloud to be shown after a certain time in the uk due to the watershed. However it is different for any other country and also TV programme.

¢In a film or writing there are sequels people who own the characters in a book or film. If there is a new writer then they have to consider the characters that were created by the old writer.

¢Copyright includes a wide range of things and copyright works are licence on a certain point.

¢A writer must consider copyright when writing as they have to be careful not to copy someone else's work or idea because it would get them into trouble. They would only be able to copy the work it if they had permission from the owner.

Bias

¢Bias can mean lots of things in general it can mean picking one side over the other. Bias can be an unfair view. Like films can be bias as well as books. For example saving private Ryan by Stephen Spielberg. It was bias because they only talked about one country in war during the film where as there is 2 different country’s fighting, but the author is being bias by only picking one side over the other. sometimes bias is tested by balance vs. (mass) audience however if there is a more stronger audience then the balance will be unequal so there needs to be a more balanced audience.

¢Information about saving private Ryan can be found at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saving_Private_Ryan

¢Writers have to consider being bias when writing as they can develop and unfair view however they should try and balance it out to show both sides of the story instead of just one.

¢Another film I have found is a film called “An Inconvenient Truth” is about a former United States vice president Al Gore’s hope was to educate the public about global warming and the effects by a fully detailed slide show. Since the films release an inconvenient truth has been approved by raising awareness of climate change. The films document has been included in schools science lessons all around the world which has made people understand the effects and what it is. Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Inconvenient_Truth#Synopsis.

Censorship

¢Censorship is the control of speech or could be other public communication which may be offensive, harmful or sensitive which is controlled by a government or media outlet. It helps people when they are choosing film's to watch because they know whether it’s content is appropriate. Censorship must also be considered when script writers are writing as they need to incorporate the correct content if writing for a child’s film.

¢However when it comes to the target audience of children watching television parents also need to take into account the content and check what they are watching as this is important.

¢Films can include many different subject matter which can easily be picked up by younger children, there are different types of content that can be censored.

Censorship can include content like:

Language

Religious

Nudity/sex

Violence

Drug use

And themes

¢Writers must consider censorship when writing because of the target audience they are writing for. For younger children they wouldn’t include violence, swearing etc but in adult films they would.

Watersheds

¢Watersheds is called safe harbour in the united states. Watersheds is the period of time in the television rota where programmes with adult content can be on air for.

¢Watersheds also have a dividing line it divides the line between family/adult and children programmes that are to be aired on TV, but  content that is aimed at adults can be shown on TV. The watershed times around the world are different but in the uk the watershed time is between 9:00pm and 5:30am where adult programmes can be watched, but after 5:30 children/family programmes can be watched.

Libel

¢Libel refers to many other forms of communication like written words or images . Libel is the message of a statement made that puts across a point to be factual. It portrays real life characters in an accurate light to avoid libel action. Where as slander refers to a vocal statement or report.

Practice screenwriting- Eastenders

The scene starts of with Ronnie walking to the back of bar with baby Tommy in her arms and kat is standing there this is giving us an impression like she isn’t interested she just want’s to get back to work.  Ronnie walks up to Kat- It gives us a sense of feeling that Ronnie is in pieces no knowing how to describe what has happened. She is obviously worried of the outcome of this.  As Kat is standing there giving us the impression of she wants to go run her pup she says “What do you want Ronnie, I’ve got a pub full of punters”. This shows us as a viewer that Kat wants Ronnie to say what she has to say and leave as she needs to get on with running her pub.

Ronnie is upset and doesn’t know how to act as the type of language she uses is very upsetting, but as she is trying to explain what’s happened to Kat, Kat gets a bit aggressive telling Ronnie that she should leave saying “why don’t you go home yeah?’ call a doctor, go and talk to someone” this gives us a sense of feeling that Kat doesn’t want to hear about Ronnie’s story as she is to upset about the loss of her baby.

Script

Eastenders- Ronnie gives baby back to Kat dialogue.

INT. PUB-DAY.

Ronnie walks into the back of the pub to talk to Kat. Ronnie takes a deep breath.

KAT

What is it?

RONNIE

Maybe we should go upstairs.

KAT

I’m working, I aint really got the time, so just spit it out.

RONNIE

It’s about James.

KAT

Right

Kat sighs.

RONNIE

I know what you’ve been through...I know how difficult it’s been for you, I understand.

KAT

What do you want Ronnie, I’ve got a pub full of punters.

RONNIE

He’s not mine.

KAT

Kat smirks

Ha sorry.

RONNIE

He’s not mine he’s yours.

KAT

What you talking about.

RONNIE

I know huh I know it sounds crazy, I should have come here before I...I tried to come here before, this isn’t James its Tommy.

EXT.OUTSIDE-DAY/NIGHT.

Camera moves away from scene and focuses on Jack getting out of the taxi, pays the taxi driver and walks to go into his house and see’s the car doors open so he stops and shuts the doors. Then he looks at the floor and see’s there is James’s toy been dropped on the floor he looks up and faces towards the Queen Vick where Ronnie and the baby are.

INT.INSIDE PUB-DAY/NIGHT.

RONNIE

Please listen to me Kat you don’t understand, you don’t understand.

KAT

Why don’t you go home yeah? Call a doctor goes and talks to someone.

Kat turns around to walk up the stairs but Ronnie stops her.

RONNIE

Please please listen to me

 She takes a deep breath I took your baby.

Kat laughs

RONNIE

I know how you feel; I am the only other person in this world who knows how you feel, to give birth to a baby and then have it....

  

RONNIE

To have your heart shrivel up inside, have your life just to be over just gone, I know because it happened to me.

KAT

You need to go.

Ronnie takes a deep breath.

RONNIE

              My baby died on new year’s eve.

Kat turns like she doesn’t believe Ronnie’s story and then takes a deep breath and laughs, whilst Kat’s laughing

RONNIE

I went in...I went in and I saw him in the cot and he was still he...he wasn’t breathing.

Kat gets all furious.

RONNIE

He was still, and I was so scared...I was so scared.

 (In an upset and crying voice).

RONNIE

 (CONTINUING)

And I...I was trying desperately to...to believe that it wasn’t true...I ran out, I panicked...and I ran out into the square, I wanted somebody to come out and help, but nobody came...nobody came, and then I heard him...I...I heard Tommy crying and I...I came in there and I...I went up the stairs and I.

(Ronnie takes a deep breath)

RONNIE

I took him...I took him Kat.

KAT

They couldn’t have, you wouldn’t do that.

Ronnie speaks over Kat saying that she’s sorry.

RONNIE

I’m sorry so sorry!.

KAT

No, No, No my Tommy’s dead yeah, I saw him, I held him in my arms he’s dead.

RONNIE

You didn’t that wasn’t Tommy.

KAT

No, No, No, NO.

Elfie walks in to the back of the pub where Ronnie and Kat are.

ELFIE

Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s wrong…what’s wrong.

 (To Kat who is crying and angry)

KAT

Get her out of here, Get her away from me.

RONNIE

Please Kat shush, shush, shush Kat listen to me, you need to understand...Please Kat take him, you need to take him, he needs...he needs his mum.

Kat interrupts.

RONNIE

 He’s not mine, he’s not mine, I believe he is not mine…no no no.

(whilst crying)

ELFIE

Kat stop.

Jack enters the pub and sees Ronnie and Kat talking and crying with Elfie trying to calm them down. We see a close up of Jacks face, he doesn’t look very happy with Ronnie.

RONNIE

              Please take him… please take him.

KAT

No no no.

Jack goes behind the bar to the back of the pub where Ronnie, Kat and Elfie are.

Ronnie walks towards Kat and hands her the baby whilst Kat’s still crying.

Kat

No

JACK

Ronnie.

ELFIE

Ronnie listen I need to phone the police for you alright?.

Jack grabs Ronnie and tries to take her outside to calm down.

RONNIE

You don’t need to phone them, I’ve already phoned them…I’ve phoned them, look I am so sorry.

KAT

Get her out of here, get her away from me…get her out of here! (Said in a very angry voice”.

(Shows a close up of Ronnie’s face and Jack’s.)

RONNIE

I’m so sorry…I’m so.

 Ronnie takes a deep breath and turns to Jack then goes to walk into the pub where there are lots of people.

JACK

Look she doesn’t know what she’s saying alright she’s Ill.

ELFIE

Stop it you should go now.

JACK

You listen to me.

ELFIE

You go now.

JACK

That’s my baby right, that’s my son

We see close ups of Jacks face when he is mad. Then the camera moves to outside the pub where we see Ronnie walking out of the pub door. She takes a deep breath. As she is walking out we hear sirens of a police car.

The camera focuses on the police car where the police are getting out and they put there hats on and walk towards Ronnie.

EXT.OUTSIDE PUB-NIGHT

RONNIE

I think you’re looking for me?

INT.INSIDE PUB-NIGHT

The camera moves back to behind the bar out the back of the pub where Jack, Kat and Elfie are.

JACK

Now look I’m telling ya alright, she’s out of her mind.

We see a close up of Kat clutching the baby like she’s not going to let it go.

JACK

So just give me the baby back and I’ll get out your air

We see a shot of Jack’s face over Kat’s shoulder.

RONNIE

Just go away, leave us alone

ELFIE

You heard her Jack

JACK

I’ll tell you this aint true I’m gunna go get Ronnie and bring her right back here because this is ain’t true.

EXT.OUTSIDE PUB-NIGHT.

Jack runs through the pub to go out the door shouting

JACK

Ronnie

(In an upset and annoyed voice.)

The camera focuses on Elfie who is looking at Kat and the baby and then the camera looks to Kat who looks at the baby.

Then it moves into the pub and we see Jack running out of the pub doors.

JACK

Ronnie, Ron.

The camera turns to show a wide shot of the police car, police and Ronnie stood there.

JACK

Tell me it’s not true.

Ronnie takes a deep breath.

JACK

Ron, please...Just...just tell me.

JACK

He’s mine ain’t he, James he’s my boy, he’s my son.

The camera shows a close up of Jack waiting for Ronnie to respond to his answer then goes back to showing Ronnie stood there silent.

RONNIE

I’m sorry.

The camera then goes back to a medium shot of Jack also showing the back of Ronnie’s head and then Ronnie turns around and walks out of the shot and all we see is Jack devastated not knowing what to do.

The camera moves to Ronnie getting in the police car with the police stood by her. It then shows a close up of her in the police car. After that it goes back to Jack who is stood there with stern face, watching Ronnie. Which the camera at that point turns to Ronnie looking out of the police car at Jack.

EXT.INSIDE PUB-NIGHT.

After that the camera goes back to in the pub where Elfie, Kat and the baby are showing a close up shot of the baby and Kat’s face, Elfie then looks at Kat and the baby and back to Kat who looks shocked and doesn’t know what to do.